One Week Left

I can't believe I only have one week left of my program here in Bangkok. The past 5 weeks have flown by and I find myself very sad to be leaving my work placement. As challenging as it has been at times, I am so in love with the kids in my class that it makes it all worth it. Historically kids have not been my favorite, but this experience has given me such a different perspective on life, families, and children especially.

Kids here are not treated as preciously (for lack of a better word) here as they are at home. Take my class for example. I have almost 50 five year olds in my class, and while this situation would never happen back in the States, I would imagine that if it did the results would be chaos. Yet here I have not experienced one temper tantrum, crying episode, or other bad behavior to speak of. When they sit on the floor, they are forced to sit in rows of 10 and count off. If they make a row of 11 or 12 they are swatted by the teacher and get their lunch last. At the tables, they are crammed in together so close that they actually touch the person next to them, and if they get fidgety or agitated with the person next to them and cause a disruption they are swatted again.

It took me a while to get used to the swatting of the students. I still don't like it and I would never do it even though I have been told I can if they are acting "foolish," but it doesn't upset me like it did before. This isn't full out hitting or anything, but if a student is talking or being disruptive, the teacher or teacher aide might walk by and give them a little smack on the arm, hand, or head. The kids never cry, but they do stop what they are doing.

They are also learning skills that I don't think we were learning at 5. These kids are still at a daycare center, yet they are reading writing, counting, and doing basic addition in Thai, and learning letters, numbers, colors, animals, and basic phrases in English. They also have a full day of school. Arriving at 8:30, sitting for 45 minutes in a daily assembly listening to announcements, singing songs, and saying prayers. Then from around 9:30-11am they have lessons with their teachers (this is often the time when I am teaching), followed by washing their hands, eating lunch, brushing their teeth, and taking a nap. I am not sure what they do between 1 and 2:30 or 3 because that is when I am teaching English to the administrative staff, but they are still working in their classrooms.

So maybe it is because my students aren't coddled and are sometimes treated roughly that I feel such compassion for them. While I may not have gotten through to them as much as I had hoped in terms of learning English, I know I have given them encouragement and affection that they might not get otherwise. I know it's hard to give any sort of individualized attention to students when there's so many in one room, so I don't want to blame the teachers or school system, but I also know that a hug or a smile can go a long way. The kids here are absolutely adorable and so loving. I count it as a victory that one of the boys who just looks mean and seemed like a bully when I first arrived is now one of the first to come over and say hi and give me a hug in the morning. I'm definitely going to miss these kids a lot and I truly hope that their lives turn out for the best. I wish there was some way I could keep tabs on them when I leave but next year they will all be going to different schools for kindergarten depending on their skill level.

Hopefully if any of what I have taught them sticks in their minds, they will have enough of a foundation in English that they can get into a decent school so that the cycle of poverty and illiteracy doesn't continue with them. It is clear that there are some students with learning disabilities and autism that simply stare at their papers whether in Thai or English, and since the school is not equipped enough to get them the help they need, it is probably only a matter of time before their parents pull them from school. I know I can't save everyone, but when I see the alternative every day of kids running around the streets barefoot when they should be in school or out sitting in their mothers' laps begging for money, it breaks my heart. These kids are so good and so sweet, I just want them to have every opportunity possibly for a good future. My time here has come and gone much too quickly, but I am so grateful I was able to come here and be with them for this time. I have wonderful memories to take with me and a new passion for children's advocacy that I am excited to go home and start exploring new options for my future with.